


You and I Go Rough

by CheersToEngland



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, M/M, One Night Stands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-18
Updated: 2013-04-18
Packaged: 2017-12-08 19:34:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/765191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheersToEngland/pseuds/CheersToEngland
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically Liam is lonely and Louis is a good friend. We all know what happens when those two things are put together, right? Here let me spell it out for you: S-E-X. And friends having sex is not always a good thing, because feelings get into the mix, and when feelings arise, that's when things get complicated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You and I Go Rough

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. You may recognize this story from wattpad. Posting it here is my feeble attempt at broading my horizons. I do hope you like it. It's the first One Direction thing I ever wrote and now, that's pretty much all I write. Enjoy darlings!

I'm not going to say that I don't know how it started, or even worse, that it started innocently enough. I know exactly how it started and it wasn't innocent. I could blame hormones or curiosity, but really I should blame myself. As cliché as my situation sounds, it's not. Sure the whole friends with benefits thing is a little overplayed, but most of those friends with benefits aren't both guys. Guys who happen to be in a world famous band together. Guys who happen to be best friends. Guys who happen to be complete opposites. You get the picture right? I guess to help you understand, I should start from the beginning.

Being in a famous boy band most people would think that we get all of the sex in the world. They couldn't be more wrong. One, we have been on tour and too busy to even think. Two, paparazzi are constantly swarming us. Three, any girl we might choose to sleep with is most likely to sell the story for money. People will do anything for a good buck these days, but I would do anything for a good fuck. I suppose that may be why we started it. We were horny, drunk, and alone, all things that scream sex.

I had never been attracted to the any of the lads before. Sure, they are all good looking guys, but I'm straight, or I was, now it just hurts my head trying to understand my situation. Maybe he was too willing or maybe I was too needy. Anyways it happened. Simple as that.

*5 months earlier*

It started out as a normal night. Normal for us that is. We had decided to go to a club earlier that night, but ended up being hounded by paparazzi and crazed fans. Don't get me wrong, I love our fans, but I don't like being chased by them into dark alleyways. Finally we found our way to a different club. Not nearly as classy, but I guess it doesn't need to be classy if all we're doing is getting drunk.

The second we got in the door, Niall left to get a drink, Zayn went off to find a girl to dance with and Louis and Harry immediately jumped onto the dance floor. I found myself a quiet table in the corner, making sure I had a good view of all the boys, so they didn't get into any trouble. I snigger at Louis trying to show Harry a series of complex dance moves. Well, complex for Louis that is. Niall bounded over to me, beer in hand.

“Are you really just going to sit here all night?” He asked.

“I'll probably dance if I get bored enough, but my job is to keep an eye on all of you,” I stated

“I get that you're 'daddy direction', but you can have fun every once in a while,” he joked. I rolled my eyes and continued to stare at Louis and Harry's terrible moves. Niall followed my eyes and cracked up when he saw what I was watching. Zayn had just come over to join in and now they were all doing some weird air grind. Niall hopped up.

“I'm going to join them, are you coming?” I shook my head, perfectly content in my quiet corner. He shrugged, “Suit yourself, party pooper.”

I watched the energetic Irish boy pushed through the crowd and joined the One Direction circle. Niall threw his head back with laughter at Louis' attempt at the gangnam style dance. It was pretty sad, considering he wasn't even drunk yet. The waitress brought me a coke and I quickly drained it all. It's not like I exactly enjoyed the babysitter role, but I was stuck with it. Don't get me wrong, I know the lads care about singing, they just don't always take it seriously.

After about an hour, they got tired and broke apart to go get drinks. A laughing Louis and Harry came to sit by me.

“So how's the loner doing?” Louis asked while Harry went to get the drinks.

“Very funny, but actually not so good. You know babysitting you all isn't exactly what I call fun.” He frowned.

“You do know I'm older than you, right?” he raised his eyebrows. He was completely serious!

“Well 99.9% of the time you don't act like it,” I informed him

“Haz, do I act like a child 99.9% of the time,” He asked, taking his drink from the curly haired lad.

“No Lou,” Harry said and Louis smiled smugly, “you act like a child 100% of the time.”

I had to high five him for that. Louis pouted. “Sorry Boo, It's the truth.” A grin broke out across Louis' face.

“Then tell me a lie,” He giggled. While Harry cracked up, I just shook my head.

“That was just awkward, please stop adding our songs to every sentence, It's just weird.”

“Gee, Niall was right. What crawled up your butt and died tonight?” He questioned.

“I'm just tired,” I quickly lied. I didn't actually know why I was in such a muggy mood. Maybe I was just really tired and the boys seemed to believe it because they continued on with their conversation and I found myself zoning out once again.

It took about an hour for them to all get tipsy. We left the club 4 hours after that. I was attempting to keep the three drunken boys sane. Luckily Zayn was sober enough to help me. Niall was by far the worst singing his rendition of Piano Man to any passerby. Louis was a close second though. When he gets drunk he gets really flirty. Having already asked a fire hydrant to come to his room, he was now using his mad skills on a stop sign.

“Louis come on,” I tugged his arm and he reluctantly said goodbye to the inanimate object. “Zayn, can you tape Niall's mouth shut, I'm starting to get a headache.” He nodded and tried to get the leprechaun into a conversation.

“Leeyum,” Louis slurred, “Li, answer me.”

“Whatever could you want, Louis?” I questioned.

“Will you carry me, I can't feel my legs,” he then stumbled as if to prove his point.

I sighed and stopped walking. I slightly bent over, “Hop on.” He eagerly, and roughly might I add, jumped onto my back. I stumbled slightly, but regained my balance and put my hands under his knees to support him. I noticed that Harry had been rather quiet. Usually he was rambling on about some girl he met by this time.

“Haz, are you okay?” I asked.

“Huh,” he looked up to meet my questioning gaze, “Just a bit of a headache is all.” I didn't quite believe him, but I didn't push it either. It's not like I could exactly comfort him with Louis on my back, so I let him be.

We arrived at the hotel about 15 minutes later. Louis and I's rooms were on the 5th floor, while the rest of the lads were on the 3rd. After I made sure Zayn got Niall and Harry into their rooms alright, I helped Louis into his. I was about to go to my room when Louis stopped me.

“Will you stay?” his voice sounded so small, “I mean at least until I fall asleep,” he smiled shyly and I just nodded and smiled back. He got into bed while I sat in the chair on the other side of the room. “I don't bite, you can come over here you know,” he joked.

“You've bitten me before, so I don't trust you.” I said, but laid down in the bed nonetheless. It was silent for a moment before Louis spoke.

“Are you sad lately because of Danielle?” he spoke softly, as if he was afraid of my reaction. Danielle was my now ex girlfriend. We broke up, because she couldn't handle the distance. We had yet to tell the media though. She got enough hate while we were dating, even though I was sad, I couldn't do that to her.

“I was, but if I'm being completely honest I wasn't that into her anymore,” I told him. He smiled up at me.

“When are you going to tell the media,” he asked.

“I really have no idea. I should do it soon, but I don't want Danielle to go through that hate.”

“Why not, she broke your heart?” he snapped.

“Don't be ridiculous Louis, I completely understand why she did it. She deserves someone who will always be able to be around. I couldn't be that guy. Why do you even care so much anyways?”

“No reason,” he mumbled.

“Well you were getting pretty frustrated right there, so I'm sure there is a reason.”

“I just don't like seeing you getting hurt,” He said softly looking up into my eyes.

“I'm fine Lou,” I told him.

“Are you sure,” he was still gazing at me intently and if I'm being quite honest I was getting uncomfortable.

“I'm sure, honestly the only bad thing is that I'm horny all the time,” I joked trying to lighten the mood.

“I'm horny too,” he chuckled and finally let up his stare.

“Yeah it must be hard,” I said.

“You have no idea,” he sighed.

You see, Louis is gay. Not publicly. He told us right when he met us, so we wouldn't have to find out any other way. As bad as I think I have it, Louis has it worse. Which means he probably would think I was being a complete arse right now, if he weren't too drunk to think straight.

“I'm sorry Lou,” I spoke softly, gently patting his arm. He chuckled and turned to face me.

“I don't want your pity Liam. Don't say you're sorry, because believe it or not, your being has nothing to do with the fact that I am attracted to males or with the fact that management has a problem with that!” he snapped, causing me to pull my arm back.

“I wasn't apologizing for that. I was apologizing for the fact that I had a girlfriend and that opportunity and practically shoving it in your face. Sometimes I forget that it's harder for you, and even though I'm lonely, you need someone way more than I do.”

“Now I'm sorry,” he frowned.

“Don't worry about it,” I laid my head on the pillow and continued to stare at the ceiling until he broke the silence again.

“How horny are you Liam, like on a scale of one to ten?” he questioned casually, as if that kind of question could ever be casual, but I suppose for Louis it could be.

“Extremely,” I sighed, hoping he would drop the awkward topic. He didn't. Instead my answer surged him forward, so his lips met mine. He forcefully kissed me, prying my mouth open and urging me to kiss back. He rubbed my inner thigh, causing me to groan and granting him access. I wanted to stop, my mind willed me to, but my lips did the unthinkable. They kissed back.

I felt cold hands slip under my shirt and I helped them pull it off, only breaking the kiss for a second. I realized then that I wanted it too, I really wanted it. Quickly, I flipped us over so that I was on top. I took his shirt off and tossed it to the ground before smashing my lips against his again.

He thrusted up beneath me causing our crotches to brush and eliciting a moan from each of our lips. He continued to grind against me and before I knew what was happening he flipped us so that he was on top again.

Louis stopped kissing me and made his way down to unbutton my pants. He really wasn't wasting any time. I hadn't noticed how excited I'd gotten until my pants were completely off. I blushed and he chuckled. “You really are horny,” he commented. He didn't give me any time to respond before taking me in. No teasing, just straight to the point.

“Jesus Christ!” I shouted, he giggled, causing a slight vibration to flow around my member. He continued, knowing all of the right things to do. He definitely had done this before, he was better than anyone who had ever done this to me. Including Danielle.

“Louis I'm going to come,” I warned him.

“Oh no you don't,” he decided pulling off with a small pop. I stared at him, my expression a mixture of anger and confusion. He held up a finger indicating that he would only be one minute. I watched him quickly unzip his bag pulling out a condom and a bottle of lube. Of course he's horny too!

“I've never really done anything like this,” I told him shyly.

“Oh course you haven't. Good thing for you that I like bottoming or you'd be screwed,” he smirked at his clever statement and laughed wickedly. “It's really just like how you would do it with a girl. I can prepare myself if you're uncomfortable.”

“No, we are not going to make this awkward,” I grabbed the lube out of his hand. He followed my lead and got down on the bed, sticking his bum up in the air. “Bottoms up,” I chuckled, coating my fingers with the cold substance. I took a deep breath and slowly moved the digit to his entrance.

“Don't be a wienie Li, just stick it in,” he urged me. I closed my eyes and stuck the finger in. At first he looked uncomfortable, but he eased up quickly. “You can move it now.” I nodded even though he couldn't see me. Gently I eased the finger back out, only to plunge it in again. I mush have been doing something right, because I earned a moan from the older boy beneath me.

When I got more comfortable with it, he told me to add another finger. We got up to three when he suggested that I scissor and curve them a little, or get fancy as he put it.

I found the sensitive spot multiple times and I didn't have to see his face to know he was in complete ecstasy. “Please Li I need it,” he begged. I couldn't believe that I had got this seemingly innocent boy in such a compromising position. I simply pulled my fingers out and quickly put on the condom and lubed up again.

Delicately, I pressed up against his entrance. Slowly but surely, I made my way into him. Once I was fully in, I gave him ample time to adjust, but instead of telling me he was ready, he took it upon himself to buck back against me. I caught on and began meeting his thrusts. The feeling was amazing. Indescribable really. He was so much tighter than any girl I had ever been with. The feeling of his tight walls around me told me that I wouldn't last long. I had to make the most of this.

I quickened my thrust and he meet my pace. I saw his hand go to stroke himself. I gripped his sides tightly, trying to go faster than humanly possible. His moans were what put me over the edge. I heard my voice shout his name and I dug my claws into his sides. That would no doubt leave a mark. I heard him call my name, and I knew he had reached his climax too. I thrusted though our climaxes then fell on top of him. We were both panting and sweaty. I slowly pulled out, hoping I wasn't hurting him. He winced, and I knew I had failed.

“Sorry,” I muttered. He just shrugged. I went to go put my clothes back on, but he pulled me back down to the bed.

“Stay,” he whispered. I nodded and kissed his forehead.

I kept my promise. I stayed with him until he fell asleep, which wasn't long. After, I quickly got out of his grasp, careful not to wake him. I pulled on my discarded clothes and snuck out of the room. It wasn't until I was down the hallway, that I realized I was wearing his pants. I sighed. This night was a mistake. It had to be. Hopefully Louis would be too drunk to remember anything.

When I got to my room, I made my way to the bathroom and discarded my clothes again. I stepped into the steaming hot water, hoping it would calm me down. And it did. Until I got out. Then I was forced to replay the events over and over in my mind. I finally fell in to a restless sleep, my mind still on a certain brunette that was lovely in bed, and let me tell you, It definitely wasn't Danielle.

*

I woke the next morning to the beeping of my phone. I thanked god that I was smart enough to have set it early, because I wouldn't have remembered to last night. Last night. The events came back quickly making me cringe. At least he had the excuse of being drunk, and liking men, but I had nothing.

I decided to skip my morning jog. I knew it wouldn't help to clear my mind like it usually does. I dressed for the interview today in my signature plaid shirt and tan chinos. I slipped on some all white converse, brushed my teeth, styled my hair and I was good to go.

I figured that Niall would be up for breakfast, but I was surprised to see all of the lads waiting there.

“Well, I never thought I would live to see the day that Liam is the last to arrive,” Harry snickered. I shrugged, not wanting to deal with the mocking, and went to get some food. I settled on eggs and toast with jam. Nothing I would need a spoon to eat with.

I managed to make it through the first half of breakfast without having to talk. It wasn't until Niall decided to nag me about moving on from Danielle, that I had to be involved in the conversation.

“All I'm saying is that it's been about a month, and you haven't even been checking out other girls. It's weird Li,” he put his hand on my shoulder, but I shrugged it off.

“We were going out for over a year Ni, what do you expect?”

“Maybe for you to go out and get some, show her what she's missing!” Harry contributed.

“That's good for some people, but I'm not that type of guy,” I tried to explain.

“Please, no body is that innocent, we can see through you Li. Seriously, have you been getting it behind our backs or something,” Zayn raised and eyebrow and I blushed, he smirked, thinking he had a lead, before he could pester me, my night in shining Toms, saved the day.

“Just leave him alone guys. Just cause you're all sexually frustrated, doesn't mean you get to get off on Lili's sex stories,” he said, looking directly at me. I smile thanked him and he winked in return. Harry grumbled something about having plenty of women.

“Well lads, I need to go fix my hair. I'll be back when I'm back,” Louis stood up rubbing his hands together. On the way out Zayn thought of the oh so great idea of asking Louis why he was walking so funny.

“Lets just say, I have a pretty active sex life as well,” Louis winked before waddling away.

Zayn spit his drink out and shook his head, asking why he was cursed with these weirdos. Niall cracked up putting a comforting arm around Zayn, “Ah, but you love us weirdos.” Zayn shook his head but agreed.

*

15 minutes later we were in the car singing along to the bad country song that was on the radio.

“She thinks my tractor's sexy!” Niall screamed at the top of his lungs. Paul was trying to shush him. Really though, who thinks tractors are sexy. Oh American music. I was awkwardly squished between Zayn and Louis, though it wasn't actually that awkward. I knew he remembered what happened, but he hadn't mentioned it. That I was thankful for. Maybe we could really get past this.

“Okay, boys we're here. You don't have a lot of time to say hi to fans, but the best I can give you is about 5 minutes,” Paul stated, glancing at his watch. I smiled. The fans were my favorite part of this. Sometimes we might not seem as grateful for them as we are, but we truly love each and every one of them, even the psychos.

I stepped out and immediately went off to go greet some girls. The rest of the lads took off in different directions. I smiled at a short blonde girl. “Hello babe, would you like me to sign that?” I asked her pointing at her CD. She seemed to be struggling with words, but managed to nod. I grabbed the CD and easily signed my name. “Have a good day,” I gave her shaking form a hug before moving to the next fan.

I find it interesting how everyone of them is so different, yet they all have a common interest in us. It's amazing to see some people who you think wouldn't be caught dead listening to anything mainstream, showing up for some of these events. I really just like the idea of making someone's day. Knowing that I mean that much to these people warms my heart.

We finally make it inside of the building, only to be whisked off to makeup. None of us like wearing it, but it's the price of fame I suppose. Today is just an interview for a low key talk show. These are always fun. The questions we get asked are certainly more original. Not to complain again, but they do get a tad repetitive.

Before we go out, the interviewer came over to introduce herself. Kristin was her name. She seemed like a nice enough person. Probably in her later 30's. She informed us that we'd have about 15 minutes on air, but that could be extended if it was necessary.

Shortly later, were were being announced and we walked out to the sound of screaming girls. I recognized some of the faces, from signing autographs outside. I gave a small wave to the crowd before taking a seat beside Niall. Like usual, we had no personal space, seated practically on top of each other. The interviewer started off with basic questions like how the tour was, and how our lives had changed. I liked how she would ask us individually different questions, like she really wanted to learn about all of us.

She started asking questions about life before fame and about our families. We all gave sad smiles through those, seeing as we were all homesick

So I'm sure you all know it's coming, so let's talk relationships. Louis, are you and Eleanor still going good?” She asked.

“Yep. The distance is a little tough, but we talk everyday,” he told her, and it wasn't a lie. She was his best friend besides us.

“And Liam, you and Danielle?”

“Yeah, the distance is hard for us too. I really hope we're able to make it through that though,” I easily lied to her.

“Now Zayn, you and Perrie are a recently confirmed couple, can you tell me about that?”

Zayn chuckles, “Yes we are. I think we just had a lot in common and really clicked. I like her a lot,” he confirmed.

“Well good, liking someone is surely important in a relationship. So Harry and Niall, you're both still single.

“Single and ready to mingle,” Harry shouted and winked at the audience.

“Well I'm sure a lot of ladies are happy to hear that. Now before we run out of time, we're going to take some questions from the fans. Who has a question to ask Harry?” The fans started jumping and screaming. Harry chose a young girl who gives him a sweet smile.

“Hello what's your name?” he asked her.

“Margie,” she replied.

“And what's your question Margie?”

“If you only had one final thing you could tell a loved one, what would you say?” she asked sweetly.

Harry was taken aback, “Wow, big question. What makes you ask that?

“My mommy is in the hospital. They tell me every time I see her it might be the last, I don't really know what to say to her.”

“Well sweetie, I guess you should tell her how much she means to you. Tell her you love her, and spend as much time as possible with her. I don't get to see my mom as much as I used to, but I still don't know what I would do without her. Treasure every second with her,” Harry concluded. I was proud of him, he gave this girl really great advice.

Kristin thanked the girl and moved on to the next person. “Louis would you like to pick a girl?” Louis nodded and pointed to a girl all the way in the back that was wearing jeans with 1D printed all over them.

“I'm Holly and I want to know, what makes Eleanor beautiful?” the girl, Holly, asked.

“Well, that's actually a tough question, you see, so much makes her beautiful. She is sweet, thoughtful, a great listener, and she always gives me the best advice. I really don't know what I would do without her in my life. She's just an overall special person to me.” I don't know why, but I was slightly jealous of his answer. I knew they were only friends, but I wished he could say all of that about me. I am daddy direction after all, shouldn't I be the one giving him advice?

Zayn answered the next question. He picked a pretty looking girl in the front. “I'm Anastasia and I wanted to ask how did you ask out Perrie?”

“Well you girls seem interested in our relationships. Honestly, I would love to say I was super romantic, but I just asked her out. I told her I liked her and asked her to go on a date. Thankfully she said yes, or that would have been embarrassing.” he explained to her. Anastasia nodded disappointed by his answer. She must have been expecting some big gesture or something.

“Next is Niall, pick a lucky lady.”

Niall picked a girl wearing a shirt that said, 'Kiss me I'm Irish, also, I'm in a really popular boy band.'

“I'm Natalie. Um when are you and Demi going to man up and go out already,” she stared at him expactantly.

Niall chuckled, “that's entirely up to her. It would be hard, since we're both busy and never in the same city, but I'd be up for a date.”

“Okay, last question and then we're out of time. Liam?” I stared out at the crowd and searched for the perfect person to ask. My eyes landed on the first fan I signed a CD for when we stepped out of the car. She looked like she had a good question, so I decided to pick her.

“Hello again,” I said.

She smiled, “I'm Lacey, I just was wondering, what your idea of the perfect date would be.”

I grinned back, “Well Lacey, the perfect date would have to involve the perfect person. I like someone who makes me laugh. Someone who I could count on to keep things from getting awkward. Dinner is always nice. Maybe a mid-day picnic at the park. We could point to clouds and figure out what they look like, maybe rent bikes. Just something casual not over the top. And of course a goodnight kiss would be in order.” I winked as I finished. I noticed Louis staring at me intensely. When he saw I caught him he looked down and blushed, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips.

“Okay, well thank you for your time and cooperation boys, but I'm afraid we're out of time. I hope you all enjoyed the show.” She signed out then turned to us. “Really thank you for joining us today. I wish you the best of luck on the rest of your tour.”

We all thanked her and said goodbye. This time we left through the back exit and avoided the craziness. Paul picked us up and brought us back to the hotel, where we packed out belongings and got onto the bus to head to the next city for our concert the following night.

*

The concert went without a problem. We were all really used to it by then. We got another hotel night, because the concert the next day would be only a few hours away. This time we had to share rooms. Usually I roomed with Niall or Zayn, and sometimes I'd room alone, but for some reason Zayn and Harry wanted to room together. Louis asked me if I'd like to share, and I figured we would have to talk about what happened sometime. I just didn't expect it to be so soon.

After saying goodnight to the lads, Louis and I entered our room. It was simple, two beds and a TV. I announced that I was going to take a shower, trying to buy myself time.

“Save me some hot water, will you?” he called as I entered the bathroom.

“Will do,” I called back. I turned the water on medium hot in attempt to preserve some for Louis. I stripped my clothes and stepped into the heat. I closed my eyes and tried not to freak out. Deep breaths in and out, no that only reminded me of the previous night. I wanted to just shut out the images, just forget it, but I couldn't. The memories were scarred in my brain permanently. I couldn't help but replay the scenes in my mind until a knock brought me out of my thoughts.

“You okay Li, you've been in there for a while?” Louis sounded worried. Maybe he was stressing about this situation too.

“I'm fine Lou, just lost in thought. I'll be out in a minute,” I responded, quickly washing my body and turning off the nozzle. I wrapped a towel around my body and stepped out of the bathroom. I watched as Louis' eyes trailed down my body. “All yours,” I motioned towards the bathroom.

“Thanks,” he quickly went in and locked the door. I heard the water start soon after. I decided to slip on some sweats. Normally I would sleep shirtless, but I figured that might not be the smartest idea. Louis was out quick much to my dismay. He was dressed similarly to me. I probably should have asked Niall to stay with me, but I know Lou hates rooming alone.

“Hey,” I said after a long silence.

“Hey,” he started, “listen, I think we need to talk.” he nervously twiddled his thumbs.

“I guess we do, but I don't really know what to say.”

“I know you probably regret it, but I don't. I needed that. It really didn't matter who I got it from. I'm sorry if you feel uncomfortable around me now, but I don't think you should. It shouldn't change our friendship,” he explained.

“I feel the same way. I just didn't want you to think I took advantage of you, when you were intoxicated.” I stated seriously.

A grin broke across his face, “Only you Li. No I initiated in anyways. I wouldn't have the right to be angry. We both needed it, and it was good, that's all there is to it.”

“I guess you're right.”

“Of course I am. Now I have a proposition for you.”

I raised my eyebrow, “and what, pray tell, would that be?”

“I'll give you another one of my marvelous blow jobs, if you let me pick the channel on the telly,” he suggested.

“You can pick it anyway. I'm knackered.”

“Aw you're no fun,” he pouted.

“Maybe another time,” I rolled my eyes.

“I'll hold you to that.”

“Of course you will Lou,” I murmured, shutting my heavy eyes and drifting to sleep.

*

I actually got a good nights sleep that night. Fixing things with Lou really eased my mind. I was slightly worried about his proposition though. Even though I was horny and the sex was great, being friends with benefits didn't really sound that enticing. Well it did, but my sensibility told me what a bad idea it was. Still, if he wanted to then would it really be that bad of an idea. Clearly we had already worked out our previous issue, so we could work out an arrangement like that too. I decided that I wouldn't be the one to initiate it, but if he did, I wouldn't stop him.

I looked over to see Louis waking up. “Hey Li, what time is it?” he asked in a husky morning voice, it was honestly kind of hot.

I glanced at the clock, “About quarter to 9,” I informed him. He nodded and laid back down. “We should probably get up if we want breakfast.”

He groaned, reminding me again of what we did. “Do we have to?”

“Yes, unless you care to starve,” I was already getting up out of bed. I would just go down like this and change after I ate. It was a rarity that the fans hadn't discovered where we were staying, so I had to take that opportunity while it was available to me.

He groaned again. “Come on Lou, you don't even have to get dressed, just get your arse up,” I complained. Suddenly his head shot up and he got a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

“You'd like that wouldn't you,” he smirked. I felt heat rise to my cheeks. In a flash he was in front of me. Our chests were touching and I could see the gleam still in his eyes. He leaned in quickly and closed the gap. I kissed him back, staying with my deal. He initiated it after all. There was an odd tingle in my chest and I couldn't decide whether I liked it or not.

“You know I owe you,” he told me as he quickly sank to his knees.

“Really Lou, right now?” I asked and he nodded. Easily he pulled my sweats down. It was a relief, I'll admit, but I was ashamed at how easily hard I'd gotten from him.

“See, you really do want it,” he chuckled, before doing what he had done so well the other night.

*

It was over far to soon, but it was amazing nonetheless. I wondered what we were. I assumed we were just friends with benefits. Louis wouldn't have feelings for me or anything. Nor did I have feelings for him, so it should just stay that way. “Lou, what exactly is this?” I asked.

“I haven't really thought of that. I mean I figured it was just the general need. Am I wrong?” he turned the question on my curiously.

“Well no, I mean, I just want to make sure that you're okay with this arrangement,” I explained.

“I am more than okay with it,” he sighed. Trust me, it has been a long time,” he over exaggerated long, but I wasn't about to point anything out.

“Perfect then. Now shall we go to breakfast?”

“We shall,” he giggled at my word choice before we left the room together.

Breakfast was fine. Niall practically inhaled the entire buffet, not that that was anything new. “Are you gunna eat that Li,” Niall, asked, his mouth already filled with food.

“I wouldn't have got it otherwise,” I smirked taking a bite of the toast. Niall pouted, but I ignored him. If he really wanted toast that bad he could go get some himself.

“Mmm, Li, that toast sure looks good,” I was surprised to find that the voice asking wasn't Irish. I in the way of the voice. Seeing Lou licking his lips, I figured it had been him that commented on my delicious toast.

“Here I wasn't going to eat this piece anyways,” I hand him my other piece of toast without any hesitation. I look up too see Niall's mouth agape. I forgot that I had just denied him the piece earlier.

“No, Jimmy protested!,” Niall shouts, “How in the world is that fair?”

“Life isn't fair, and Louis is my favorite,” I shrugged leaving Niall to grumble to himself. Zayn and Harry don't help the case by just laughing and poking fun at him. I sigh hating the fact that I always have to be sensible. “Here take it,” I had Niall my other piece of toast.” He just greedily took the piece and doesn't thank me. “I think I'm going to take a jog,” I informed the boys before getting up. They nod and continue eating, but Louis gave me a worried look. I brushed him off and headed back to the room.

Once I was in the room I picked out my workout clothes. I put them on quickly and grab my iPod. I was out the door and halfway down the hall when a hand grabbed my arm and stopped me. “Liam, what's wrong,” my brown eyes turned to meet the concerned blue ones of Louis.

“Nothing, I just didn't jog yesterday, so I really need to today,” I lied, attempting to escape.

“Don't think I don't see through your lies Liam,” he cornered me once again. Since I was now used to him at a close proximity, it didn't really bother me.

“Well I'm not lying, I really need to jog,” I tried again.

“Okay well that may be true, but something is bothering you,” he held his grip.

“Yes something is and jogging will help clear my mind so if you'd be so kind as to let me go I would be very thankful,” I struggled once again to break free of his grasp, but he held strong. He raised his eyebrow and I gave in.

“I just feel unappreciated I guess,” I told him.

He nodded, “I suppose we all do at times, but just know that Niall might not show it, but he adores you. I think he looks up to you. Scratch that I know he does. We all do really. You have a great work ethic and your voice is so flawless. You were meant to be on stage. We've all worked to a point where it looks natural, but you don't even have to put up an effort. I appreciate everything you have done, because without you this band wouldn't be as successful.”

I couldn't believe that he thought that highly of me. “Thank you Lou,” I simply said out of the lack for better words. I quickly gave him a peck on the nose. His eye twitched in a cute way and he smiled up at me. “I still want to jog though.” He chuckled and lightened up his grip. I nodded to him once more before leaving the hall.

*

The jog put my mind at ease slightly more, but Louis' words did that for the most part. I was glad that we could have this kind of relationship without having problems. I wasn't sure if it was just the general desperation or if we were just close enough friends for it to not be a problem. Maybe a little bit of both. We had the day off for the most part, we didn't have to do a sound check until 5 so that left us a bit of a lazy day.

The next concert and the following ones all went without a hitch, but soon enough there would be a bump in the road to success and I would have no idea how to fix it.

*

*4 months later*

It happened unexpectedly. I didn't know what I was saying. I think I was just overwhelmed with such pleasure it tricked me into having feeling. In the previous months our arrangement had been going smoothly. We, for the lack of a better word, fucked every time we got a chance. We always roomed together at hotels, and the other lads didn't even get suspicious at all. They just thought we were becoming better friends, which we were, but we had benefits. We were having sex like any other time when everything went wrong.

I could feel the pleasure building inside me, until it was to immense to contain. Louis was beneath me trying to control the exact feelings. We both broke simultaneously. “Christ Li!” he shouted, which wasn't out of the ordinary. It was what I chose to shout that surprised us both.

“God Louis, I love you!” Once I shouted those three simple words everything froze. We both stopped moving and the only sound you could hear was our heavy panting. I closed my eyes hoping when I opened them it would all be a dream. Instead I opened them to Louis struggling to get out from under me. I watched him lazily and quickly throw on his clothes. I didn't try to stop him until he was gone.

“Lou wait, I didn't mean it,” I shouted after him, but it was too late. He had left me alone to wallow in my own mistakes. I shook my head convincing myself that it would be okay. I could explain to him the following day that I didn't mean what I said and that it was completely spur of the moment. I couldn't love Louis, at least no that way. And by the way he ran, he couldn't love me either. For some reason that particular thought gave me an uneasy feeling in my stomach. I groaned and laid down on the bed, hoping that the next day all would be forgiven and forgotten.

*Present Time*

That leads me to where I am now. Of course nothing can be easy. Louis didn't even let me explain. He's been ignoring me for the last week and a half and I'm sick of it. Not only has it been messing me up, it's been affecting the band, and I cannot let that happen. As much as I want to talk to him, I'm kind of too hurt to. Is my love really that revolting that he had to get up and leave and just not come back? Harry's on his side too. I'm about ninety percent sure that Harry knows about Lou and I's relationship or previous relationship. I don't really know when he found out, but he did.

Louis is probably with him right now. Harry's probably his new fuck buddy. That's probably why Harry took his side so easily.

I groan and fall back onto the couch again. Why can't my life just be easy again? I would even go back to being just friends with Louis, because I missed him. I missed him so much. I missed his laugh, his cheeky comments, his sass, his smile, his terrible jokes, I even missed fighting with him. As long as he was talking to me. Acknowledging my presence at the very least. The only time I get to see him is at interviews and concerts and he does his best not to interact with me then.

I can see the discomfort in his eyes whenever we have to do an interview just the two of us. I always try to talk to him afterward, but he bolts before I can utter a single word. I wish I could turn back time, but at the same time I don't. Our little arrangement had to end sometime I suppose, but I just hoped it would end less painlessly. My pain subsides for a moment when I hear a knock on my door. I assume it's just Zayn or Niall coming to check up on me. Neither of them know about what has been going on, they just think Lou and I had a fight.

“Liam. It's Harry, open this goddamn door now, before I break it down.” To say Harry's voice startled me would be an understatement. I hadn't really heard from him either, more that I had Lou, but still not a lot.

“Coming,” I call, not wanting to keep him waiting. He already sounds angry enough. I open my door to see him staring intently at me.

“Well?” he finally speaks.

“Well what? You're the one who was banging at my door, not the other way around.” I spit at him agitatedly.

“Well I'm not the asshole here,” he sneers. Harry doesn't usually cuss, but when he's mad he makes an exception.

“Well you're kind of acting like one. And for what bloody reason?” I shout back at him. The lads and I never fight. At least not like this, but the look Harry gives me next could easily kill. He doesn't answer me he just continues to stab me with his eyes. “Seriously, what the hell is your problem Harry?”

“You want to know my problem? You're the one with the problem. How could you do that to Lou? Play with his feelings, like they're nothing. You're a sick person, I hope you know that!” he shouts at me.

“Oh I'm the one playing with Lou's feelings. He's the one who hasn't bloody talked to me for over a week. He can't even be dignified enough to come over here and shout at me himself!” I'm getting worked up now. What gives Harry the right to get mad at me in the place of Louis.

“He's freaking heartbroken, Liam! How can't you see that. He could have handled the sex. He had been. But you had to go bring his bloody feelings to the surface. How cold hearted are you?”

“I don't owe you a bloody explanation, but I'll give you it anyways. Do you think I meant to hurt Lou? I didn't even realize that I did. In fact he's the one hurting me. I don't know why you have to look at me as the bad guy. You think that he's the victim, but I really am. I fell for him. And now you've all turned on me. Nobody asked me if I meant those words and in case you didn't know, I did. I love Louis, but he's so disgusted that he won't even talk to me.” On that note I break down into sobs. My feelings hit me like a semi truck and now they're completely out in the open.

Harry's face softens and he pulls me into a hug. “I'm sorry for getting so mad Li, I didn't know the full story. I should have listened to you first before jumping to conclusions. But Lou, he's just so broken. I couldn't help but think of you as the culprit,” he explains to me.

“It's fine Harry. It's just, you say Lou is heartbroken, why? He's the one who left me.”

Harry sighs, “it's complicated I guess. Lou has always had a crush on you. He described it to me as lust. After the first night you guys slept together when he woke up to see you not there, it hit him hard. He realized he loved you. Loved just being with you. When he found out that he could be with you sexually he took it. Even though he wanted to be with you romantically he figured it was the best he could get. When you said you loved him he snapped. He could take it when it was only for pleasure, but he knew you couldn't love him. Hearing you say that and knowing you didn't mean it killed him. He refuses to talk to you, because he thinks you'll hate him. And in his logic, not having you at all is better than having you hate him.”

I frown. Harry's words sink in. Louis loves me. He loves me back. I feel a grin make it's way across my face. “Now hold up there, don't get too excited.” Harry's voice snaps me to reality once again.

“You still have to get him to hear you out and since he refuses to talk to you, you'll need my help. Here's what you're going to do. We are going to go over to my place, he just sits in his room all day so he won't notice you right away. You are going to go into his room, he'll think it's me and he never bothers to glance back from staring at the window. Block the door and make sure he can't escape. I'll lock it from the outside, but he might still try to break it down. You're going to tell him everything that you told me, but cut to the chase sooner, you know he'll lose patience. Then boom, you'll be together forever.” He claps his hands together and smiles.

I smile back, “What are we waiting for then?” I jump off the couch, but Harry stops me.

“You might want to make yourself presentable first,” he informs me. I nod and rush to take the quickest shower I have ever taken.

*

As expected, Louis is sitting by the window looking outside when I get in. He doesn't look towards me. I hear the lock click and I silently thank Harry. “Why'd you hit the lock Haz?” he asks, his gaze still not moving from the window. When I don't respond he turns his head. His mouth drops open at the sight of me. I'm not going to lie he looks absolutely horrible and that just makes me feel worse. Once he composes himself he gets up and tries to make a run for the door, but I grab his hand and stop him.

“Please Lou, we really need to talk,” I beg. He sighs.

“There is nothing to talk about. If you came here because you're horny I suggest you leave right now, because I don't want to hear it. Whatever we had it's over and you can thank yourself for that,” his eyes narrowed harshly, but I can hear the quiver in his voice. I can tell he is trying not to break.

“Are you done?” I ask taking a step forward. He simply takes a step back.

“No I'm not. I won't be done until you leave this bloody room.”

“Well in case you hadn't noticed the door is locked and won't be unlocked until this is resolved and I can't speak until you are finished so it seems that we have a dilemma,” I respond calmly. He stares at me for a moment then his eyes light up with an idea.

“Help Harry, Liam is trying to rape me,” He shouts at the top of his lungs. He goes to bang on the door but stops when he hears a chuckle and a 'good' coming from the other side of it. He sighs and gives up, going to sit on the bed. I start to walk over there. “Don't you come near me,” he warns. I ignore him and sit next to him.

“All I'm asking for is for you to hear me out, I promise I want nothing more, I just want to explain myself,” I can see his walls slightly lower.

“Okay,” he agrees.

“I would like to start off by saying that Harry told me about your feelings, but don't blame him, I kind of got it out of him from what he said and it really opened my eyes. That first night I think it's safe to say that I didn't have feelings, or I thought I didn't, but now I see that if I really didn't, I wouldn't have done it.

I know I left you that night and I shouldn't have, but I didn't do it for the reason you think. I left because I was afraid of your reaction. I thought that you would think I had taken advantage of you and I couldn't have you think that. I thought it would be best if I left. I was so happy we resolved things. I didn't think of how wrong our relationship was. I just thought of the bliss it brought me. If I wasn't so caught up in my own world I would have noticed how unhappy you were and I'm sorry for that too.

When I said I loved you I didn't realize that I meant it until it was actually said. I was caught up in the moment yes, but that doesn't mean it was a lie. You don't know how much someone means to you until they are gone. That's how I've felt the past week. Louis I can't lose you. I'll even manage if you've decided that I'm not worth it, I hope that's not the case, but I'll live. I just need you back in my life. As my friend at the very least. The way I said it the first time wasn't very romantic so I'll try it again. Louis William Tomlinson, I love you so very much.

I love your laugh, if we made a CD of only that I would listen to it on repeat. I love your jokes, no matter how bad they get. I love your eyes, not many people get the opportunity to study them up close, but if that was a job I would certainly take it. I love everything about you and I realize that I am probably making you so cocky right now, but you have every right to be. Sure you're not perfect, but you're perfect for me. Opposites really do attract. I just plainly and simply love you. And your not bad in bed either.” I finish up my little ramble with a cheeky wink.

Not once throughout my speech did I break eye contact with him. His eyes were gradually welling up with with tears and when I finished the dam broke. I didn't hesitate to wrap my arms around him. Surprisingly, he didn't push me off. Instead I felt his arms wrap around me and cling for dear life. I rub small circles on his back and place little kisses in his hair. Finally he pulled away enough to look me in the eyes.

He takes a deep breath, “Li, that was so beautiful. Sappy, but beautiful. I didn't know you felt that way about me. No matter how hard I try I could never get over you, so I guess its good that I don't have to now. I love you too Li.” Even though his confession wasn't as long as mine, it still warmed my heart. I go to lower my head and he catches on, his lips meeting mine halfway.

This kiss wasn't like the numerous others we'd shared. There was no rush, not lust, just two lovers enjoying each others company. We weren't worried about the future, we could take it as it came. One step at a time. For now we would just live in the present. In each other's arms.

Fin.

**Author's Note:**

> :)


End file.
